Still Single

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"

With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."

The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"

Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

The Sick Child And His Mother

A child came crying to his  mother and  complained that he has severe stomach-ache. She told him, "It is because your belly is empty. Come and have some food." The child obeyed.

The next day the mother had a heavy head ache. The child consoled her, saying innocently, "Mommy, it is because your head is empty!"

On another occasion, the curious child asked his mother, "Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning Grey?" She tried to use this occasion to reform him. "It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs Grey!" The child replied innocently, "Now I know why your mother has only Grey hairs on her head."

Guests For Dinner

There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb. His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.

Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge. The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"